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I. Ultimate Betrayal

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Finally the day came when I got baptized. The gates of heaven opened, white doves flew in flocks, and harps were a playing. NOT! But that’s what it felt like. My faith went from being deeper than the deepest sea to the size of a mustard seed. I remember walking on campus wondering if I made the right decision, asking in my heart for a sign, and low a behold, I found $5 on the ground. That was a sign from Father and Mother. I used that to get a Jamba Juice.  It felt great knowing that I had a spiritual Father and Mother. Especially since my heart was already aligned with the fact that there is a female deity based on my research, meditation, and experience.

Those early days were life changing. Everyday I went to church to study in between classes. And that’s when all hell broke loose. I was excommunicated from my old church. Not only was I excommunicated, but all of the people that I’d grown to love from the church were given strict orders not to talk to me. What!? Are you kidding me?! After I’ve watched your children, cooked for you, prayed for you, sang to you, did your hair, let you live with me, drove you around, confided in you, studied with you, and accepted you as family, and extended myself to you; I’m just cut off as if our relationship was nothing. Are you for real?! Talk about the ultimate betrayal. My heart ached. I couldn’t stomach it. I cried just about everyday for the first couple months.  These people were my family in San Diego. I loved them and thought they loved me too.  How quickly they all turned on me once the order was given to cut all ties. It would’ve been easier if all ties were cut and there was no dialogue. But some were so cruel, saying things like ” I knew she was weird to begin with and I shouldn’t have trusted her.” Damn!! I never once crossed anyone as far as trust is concerned. Never repeated anything told to me. I even confided in this particular woman about my fears, doubts, and dreams. Wow!! What a blow. My own room mate, who lived with me rent free, wouldn’t even look me in the face. She was scared to death of me. She’d lock herself in my bathroom in the mornings until I left for school. WTF! I know, a real harsh situation. It was hostile to say the least.

Pastor Wright didn’t just cut me off from his church, he called every friend of mine that I introduced him to and told them not to talk to me because I’ve been spiritually comprimised { when I was an active member of his church I continuosly brought visitors to the church. Some from my university or schools near by, others complete strangers that I met off the street}. To my suprised they listened to him. Talk about the twilight zone. Friends that I spoke candidly about God to wouldn’t even answer my call, and avoided me like the plague when seeing me around campus. It was seriously depressing.I remember my little {I was a big sister in a big/little program with the Black Student Union} told me that she didn’t feel comfortable talking to me about God or religion. Straight out of the blue. It wouldn’t have been a big deal to me except at that time in my life all I ever talked about was the Most High before I was introduced to the society. My little and I would have Bible study, prayer sessions, and conversations about God all the time. All of sudden she didn’t want to talk about it. She wasn’t the only one pastor Wright called.

My ex boyfriend {now he’s my husband} called me concerned talking about he received a voice message from Mr. Wright saying somthing to the effect of , “call me when you get this message. Your girl is trippin’.” Word!! Yes, he did that. Sean was confused and immediately called to see if I was alright. I wasn’t. I was a ball of nervous energy. I was paranoid, alone, and under attack. I begged him not to call back. I couldn’t lose him too! At that point the only person still communicating with me {from the old church and friends of mine that visited} was Wendy. He assured me that Wright couldn’t tell him anything that would make him stop talking to me.

Dude called my cousin, who came to see me right away and went to the Society to see for himself what I was into. According to my cousin, Wright told him that I followed some man into this trinitarian cult {again, he was refering to the Hebrew Israelite from the tribe of Benjamin that I studied with before I joined Wright’s church. He was wrong}. Crazy right. I was so thankful that my cousin had enough since to see for himself.

There was one member of Wright’s church that did not turn his back on me. That was Russel. He was an old man perhaps in his late 50’s early 60’s, walked with a cain, and was a slick talking man. Russell loved him some me. He called me and said, ” Alicia, something is going on and I do not like it. Pastor Wright done told us to stay away from you. Said you done went off the deep end and you have evil spirits. I don’t believe that about you Alica. You is one of the only ones truly sincere about this here. You live your life as an example. We all see it and feel the power of God in you. I won’t stop talking to you Alicia” {This is the just of what  he said}. Gratitude filled my being becuase here this man could see past the BS.


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