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April-“Let it Go, Let it Go”

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April is an appropriate month for this month’s theme being that it’s April fools and all. This month is solely dedicated to the purge. Any and everything pertaining to the Cult of Ahn is to be categorized, scrap booked and the remainder thrown away{I actually like the books and comics}. All of the guilt, shame, regret, fear, and programming goes too.

As much as it’s on my last nerve thanks to Z, Frozen couldn’t have come out at a better time. “Let it go,” is thee most fitting song ever. It’s my theme song this month.

“Don’t let them in , don’t let them see. Be the good girl you always had to be. Conceal don’t feel, don’t let them know. Well now they know!

It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small, and the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all!

It’s time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through. No right, no wrong, no rules for me. Now I’m free!

Let it go, let it go. And I’ll rise like the break of dawn. Let it go, let it go. That perfect girl is gone. Here I stand in the light of day, let the storm rage on, the cold never bothered me anyway!”

For those of you familiar with the song you know that I skipped a few verses and choruses. That’s because these are the most potent for me.

I started the scrapbook and it brought forth so many memories. I left the Society  in August of 2012. Since then I haven’t read over any notes, books, Elohist, or even the Bible. I tried opening the Bible several times over the past two years, but it’s just way too forced.

I didn’t finish the project for this month but I did begin and I do plan on completing it. I give myself a  C+ for this month.

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  • shanaya

    what about your friend? did she leave too??

    • Alicia

      No. She got married and moved to Hawaii. If you were at the San Diego Church in 2008, then you had to have met her or heard about her. Once she moved to Hawaii I stop keeping in touch with her. It is highly recommended that you don’t communicate with brothers and sisters from other churches. I kept in contact with people from various churches because I traveled and visited other churches. I wonder how she is doing. I will definitely write about how I left and how communication happens with those still in the society.

      Thank you for commenting. If you know anyone else who needs help or is curious, please direct them to this website.

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